Sunday, January 20, 2013
There are times when resistance is pointless; when whinging and railing is as far as you'll get. Like Canute, great warrior though he was, you learn it's folly to fight the tide.
Any parent knows there are days when it's best to give way. I recall weekends nursing fevers; cleaning up kiddie puke instead of the walks and picnics we'd planned. Once, the car packed and the weather set fair for a trip to the Lakes, Daniel ran full pelt into the door, blood gushing and a swelling the size of an egg. Two hours and five stitches later we phoned to cancel the hotel.
But those days were few. When I set my mind to something, I'm more determined than most. I'm diligent too - it's seldom a lack of organisation that leads to failure or disappointment. If things go wrong, I swear more than I should, curse the flat tyre, the sod's law, the bloody weather, the idiot who caused the traffic jam... And after Jane's calmed me down, I find we're usually not quite as late or as ill-prepared as I'd feared. There is little that actually stops us.
Snow is the one big exception.
I hate snow with a passion reserved only for things most foul. It comes from childhood I think - the knowledge of certain disappointment; that the car wouldn't start, that we'd not see our grandparents, that on Monday school would be open regardless. Why doesn't it ever snow when nothing much is planned?
So this weekend I've been in lockdown, physical and mental - keeping my frustration in check with a mixture of good whiskey, bad banjo playing, and the odd walk across the fields. Don't fight the inevitable, I told myself - look for the positives. I even had a shed-night sleepover with Dylan so we'd get our 'sub-zero' wings.
Has it worked?
I still long for what might have been; I calculate the lost opportunity, can't quite embrace the second rate options. But at least I'm not punching the walls, and interestingly (a sign of age perhaps) I'm not trying to ride my bike or paddle my kayak regardless. There are even some aspects of the weekend I've truly enjoyed - the whiskey, for instance, the meal I cooked last night.
I wish I were more sanguine about the weather - it would make for a happier life.
But If I'm honest I wish even more that the darn snow would go.