I could do a whole spoof here about the effects of rising water temperatures on the bio-sphere... the need for a sustainable aquatic environment... the imminent and very real threat to population levels (in one week our global population has dropped by 33%)... the impact of over consumption of rich food stuffs... the age of the stupid; oh why didn't we do something when we could?
But I won't, because Jane is upset and I bought her the darn thing for Christmas, so it's partly my fault. And tomorrow we have to change half the water, buy an algae filter and quietly replace 'Dylan Fish' before his namesake notices he's gone. And I thought goldfish were simple.
How did that song by Van Morrison go?
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